I admit, I didn't love my wife when we got married

I admit, I didn't love my wife when we got married

I admit, I didn't love my wife when we got married. “Marriage is an investment that develops over time. This is an expedition. It is something that develops through experiencing mutual temptations and maintaining one another's commitments. It's the same with friendship

This is the confession of an unnamed man who honestly admits that on his wedding day he did not love his wife, he liked her physically, but it was not love at first thought. But over the years of living together, some things have changed.

Here is how he describes his marriage:

Last week my wife and I celebrated the 16th anniversary of our marriage. Many have congratulated us on opinions on Facebook. We collected a lot of likes. It was a good day spent with our family.

As I think about it tonight, I remember our anniversary a few years ago. It wasn't a good day... not at all!

We're both on a busy schedule and we're both under a lot of pressure. I work a lot to complete most of the big tasks at
work, and he has a lot of phone calls he needs to answer. I remember we were so nervous that we fought a few times during the day. In the end we collapsed in bed near midnight and within minutes we were both fast asleep.

So much for a happy and romantic birthday, right? However, this is real life. Such is the reality.

I admit, I didn't love my wife when we got married

We all often try to maintain the magic of a bond early on during a marriage, but in doing so we miss out on a very significant developmental element in a bond that needs to be formed.

Your wedding day is a day to celebrate. Your marriage in the years to come is an investment. And talking about it, when talking about investing, I admit that I didn't marry my friend 16 years ago, and we didn't fall in love deeply and happily either.

I didn't believe in love at first thought and I didn't melt when I saw the birthday status on Facebook where people wrote something like: Years later I married my friend, the love of my life, my rock stands on the wind in the base of my wings!"

I'm not saying it's entirely wrong. It's okay to post things like that on Facebook or Twitter. If you feel like you've had love at first thought or married your friend years later, that's fine. I'm not cynical, I'm honest with you.

Sixteen years later I did not marry my friend and there was no love at first thought when we met. Today, 16 years after that, I married my friend and I feel deep love for him, respect.

"Why now?" You ask yourself. Because I didn't really know him before. We only understood each other for 16 months on our wedding day. It's not very long!

I'm telling you all this because love is a process. Marriage is an investment that develops over time. This is an expedition. It is something that develops through experiencing mutual temptations and through maintaining one another's commitments.

It's the same with friendship. That's impractical, nor does it reach full depth in just a few months or even more after a year. Love is not a goal that must be achieved, love is an expedition that must be continued and surrendered entirely, both in joy and sorrow.

I admit, I didn't love my wife when we got married

After 16 years, a lot of struggle, a lot of experiences like getting to the top of a mountain, some very difficult and tiring times, but also happy times, I can say this: I love my wife more than ever. And I can honestly say that he became my friend. 

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